Anne Marie and Julien

Ok i miss all of you very much. I want you guys to know that if i had time i'd be in here everyday but sadly my life isn't what it was before. i soon as i have time again i'll return.

i love you all
annie

Hey everyone! i miss all of you.
My job is pretty overwhelming so i don't even come around anymore. I pretty much just work all the time. I got today off because if i missed one more day of school they would kick me out. I promise i'll come around more often.

Hey everyone I know it's been forever but I have a job so I've lost my freedom! ^.^

Recently my niece's boyfriend took us to work. we both work at the mall which is ok because we don't have to travel to different places. She doesn't love him anymore. So she walked into her store and I still had two hours before going into mine. So i decided to walk around with him. He began to ask me weird questions like what e thought of him and so on. I told him that my family loved him and that James does too. He was all frustrated and later i got mad and went to work an hour early. Later he told everyone in school and in my family that he broke up with jamie because I told him that i loved him and that she was using him and what not. I had the fight of the century with my family and i am angry s hell...so he has the balls to say hi to me just randomly and expect me to be cool. When i cold have told him the truth but instead i tired to save his relationship and in the end i came up as the one that messed it up.
Moral of the story... don't help any0ne!
everyone deserves what they get. Jamie wanted to dump him it wasn't my job to try to keep them together ans i can see why see wouldn't want him. As far as me. My lesson was that blood is thicker than water and that yes family sucks, but they are they only family i have. In the end I just hope my sister doesn't mess up with the stupid Idea they have to force jamie to date this one guy and eventually marry him. This isn't worth it.

OK... so today I started working. It's great I love it! What i don't love is how i almost lost an eye to a guy who was breaking tile four feet away from me. Or how I almost lost my right thumb to this earring hanger. Yes I suddenly became clumsy. I had a sandwich for lunch, it had chicken and cranberries. yes I know what your thinking, but they are actually pretty good. I also tried this Honey latte from starbucks mmmmmm good. Here I am home though bored out of my mind. Everyone came home from school and they are all sleeping like lazy people. I guess school is worst than work, who knew? Oh I also got new shoes...yes for work! and I got my first pay check ever! it was for the 2 hour orientation we had like a month ago...$14.62 not bad I expected it to be like 5 bucks though! Soon I expect to have enough money to buy my own phone so my phone-hog of a mother can leave me at peace. I hope to move out either, I can't stand her stupid need to insult me because I look like my father and that pisses her off! Oh yeah I got an application for a college in New York, it's for music and art. I like the one in France better... it's farther away from my Mother.
Ok I'm done... before I get angrier.
See you guys around.

Ok our world sucks but I see it as perfect. Why? yes I know you think I'm insane. I find the horrible things in life make us who we are! The sad things and the beautiful things and though I've done few bad things, I've been hit hard with horrible tragedies and I don't regret anything that i have done, or anything that has happened to me. simply because of who I am today. I am truly happy with myself.

"Real love is a pilgrimage. It happens when there is no strategy, but it is very rare because most people are strategists."
I like this quote simply because it means a lot to me. I became a person who hide from the world within myself and in the end Love took me by surprise and I found that I could never return to being the person I once was.

My ipod
make-up
some change, mostly pennies.
gum always gum...i love gum
most recently, santi's mickey mouse. I hate babysitting!

Chocolate! Actually there was even a documentary about how our brain works. And the amount of brain waves given of during certain experiences and the waves given of by the brain when you eat chocolate are higher than does given off when your kissing someone. Go figure.

Well back in the day I had really bad self-esteem. So everything was a problem, from the way I walked to the way I talked and chewed gum. Yeah I look back a lot and think "Wow I was weird!"
since then I have changed a lot To the point in which I figured out that one should only be ashamed of the horrible things in life. We waste so much time worrying about stupid things and never realized that it doesn't matter what you look like but what you do! If i went around killing people I'd be ashamed of that or if I was a prostitute. Lol OK I am ashamed that I have to change Santiago's diaper but since Geymie's almost home... I'll let her do it. God that's evil. I have to go people, I have a diaper to change.

So i decided to post something because I've been doing writer's block like there is no tomorrow.
That simply defies the point of a journal, or at least it does to me.

So I'll start work soon and my life will be different then. I guess it'll be better that way though. I mean I can't act like I'm still in high school. I don't have that freedom anymore.

I also realized that my dream of saving up enough money to leave for France is very far away. I'll have to save enough for a ticket and then have money to spend there, I obviously plan to get a job there but the more money i make here the better, The exchange rate is murder!

Yesterday my friends and I had a long talk, realizing how our lives were changing and for the first time I noticed that I once had everything and lost it over night. I also noticed that I had friends who never had anything, and where losing what little they had. It's all perfect when your a kid and don't have worries. I remember how we used to go up to Orlando 3 to 4 times a year. and now that's just part of the past.
Within all the reality that surrounds me, I still live in a fairytale. Not many people would notice how high up in the clouds I am, and I am thankful for that.

My Julien Left a long time ago. I thought i had him back for a while, but it was a mistake. Then when my life became a living hell I realized that he never left me. I hate it when you get things wrong, two complicated people and all that. A competitive couple. I know he's going to come back but it's terrible for me. He is so far away now, and travels so much. I even remembered that once I had forgotten the look of his face and the sound of his voice. This all came crashing down on me when he called. Like when you taste Chocolate after not having it for a while. We can be such harsh people, but our love is different! We wear masks to the world but together we are ourselves. It's all so innocent, it's so ancient it seems like an endless dream, or simply true love that traveled through the ages. Perfect like we had known each other for hundreds of years.
We're just a couple of kids but we are old inside! Not boring,I know I act my age sometimes but at other times I seem to be someone wise beyond my years. Julien and I we are the same but opposite, like a perfect fit of two pieces of a puzzle.
The sickening part is having to wait. All I hear is SOON, soon could be tomorrow as well as it could had been yesterday. Soon is still to come. Like a sign that says tomorrow everyday you see it. But tomorrow is just not today. so what is there to do but wait. Of course don't get me wrong it's not like I am waiting in vain. That's not the case here. Our love is our love! we are a couple! He has his life and I have my own. We both plan to live them to the fullest and not let each other interfere! But we won't let our lives interfere with our love.
Complicated I know!
So until soon comes. I have a job to worry about and college! Until soon comes I have a car to pay and operas to learn. I have traveling to do and a life to live.

So talk to you guys soon!

Internet speak, what's that all about? it just confuses you more!
The fact that "LOL" ( even though I admit to using it a lot!) is over rated and things like BTW
and this like ThIs<--- or this---> gr8. I can't think of anything else except that i hate some comments on YOUTUBE and that MYSPACE is a waste of time, it's like an amature porn site for friends. I mean it was Ok when young people used but knowing that my 34 year old brother has a myspace and i don't makes me sick.

Be Patient: i can't be. though there are times when you don't have a choice and you have to be because you just have to wait like an idiot!
that's about it.

I personally think that having siblings didn't affect me but i know that I did affect their lives. I pretty much came late into the picture. My brother who is 13 years older than me was born premature and he was the baby, until i was born so our relationship is pretty superficial. My sister is 20 years older than me but we compete a lot beauty wise, well the competition more on her part. I guess she always needed a sister but ended up getting a daughter Lol. My oldest brother is 39 and he is my father, since my father never cared for me, my brother was the fatherly figure in my life and God knows i love him to death, i love him! my other brother... we used to be the closest ones. he got married when i was 7 and his wife hates me, eventually he learned to hate me too. our conversations consist of: me: hey. Him: put mom on the phone!... the end.
I have another sister on my fathers side who is 24, i never met her. my father left her and didn't care for her. a couple of years back i heard that she was living in the streets with her two daughters (7&8) her husband had been killed, so i used to send her money until she got a home and a job. After my parents split, i lost all contact with her. I told my father to leave, because of domestic violence! and i just found out yesterday that his 25 year old girlfriend is pregnant! My father is going to be 50 this year and he isn't divorced yet. My sister ( the one that is 40)knew but didn't want to tell me, because she thinks it'll depress me.

I really don't care much for the whole situation, i just hope that this new kid has a better life.

in the end, all of this made me fully independent and i can't ever recall be childish or spoiled.

I hate my hair cut! i look like a Japanese anime. Everyone thinks it so cute and attractive... ok i admit it i can be girly at times. ahhhh i feel weird without my long hair i want it baccccccccck.-.-'

Any who <--- okay i really say that a lot. i have this wonderful ghost story to tell. i mean horrible. But i don't have the balls to write it! I feel like such a coward.
besides people criticizes so much . I mean i don't post it because i need advice or help, like i am stupid or don't know any better. I have knowledge. i would post it just so people can read it. i can imagine the wave of stupid comments.

People, sleep paralysis is over rated! yes you can have it, but people treat sleep paralysis like IBS... they make it the excuse for every case. it's not like that! ahhhhh that makes me so mad.

Then there is the... well i don't believe in that so tough luck... I don't care if you believe in what i am saying or not! Just read the damn story if you like it Hooray if not than i don't care.
( wow, anger management anyone?)

what a dilemma... i wonder if it's even worth posting anymore.

Like most teenagers who haven't been "drugged" by society i have high hopes and dreams. Sadly my job isn't very hopeful but i simply see it as a stepping stone to greatness. Hey we gotta start somewhere right?

Anne Marie thinks...sorry i had a need to talk in third person!

ahead of time i would like to say... sorry for the language i am not vulgar but i am in the heat of the moment!

A Charmed life is everyones life! when you realized how fucked up the world is and noticed that all the shit that happens to you is pretty much meaningless compared to other things. When you realized that even though your screwed and your life sucks and your have no way out, but you remember all the little stupid happy times that show you that this is the reason why you haven't totally if not at all given up! When you have no place to live and no food to eat but you're at the beach, when so guy in a Lamborghini is in his office pissed off doing paper work! that is a charmed life and if you would have asked me this 6 months ago would have said: getting my hair done every Sunday at the mall.

Can you die of boredom in 3 days?
I will show you how! starting this Wednesday ( tomorrow i have class so its better than nothing)

March 5, 2008
Boring... santi woke up at 7 in the morning instead of sleeping until ten like usual so i am pretty upset as far as the fact that i haven't slept! I got home from school at 10 something last night. whatever from here it gets worse. i have to have lunch ready by 2 because the kids get home from school then, just so they can make i mess which i'll have to clean up and by kids i mean the ones in high school (18,16). than at 3 the real kids arrive and i have to help them with their homework! of course i can't get help from anyone helped because they are sleepy so i am stuck with all the work.by the time i am done i can't go to sleep because everyone is here and i can't leave does weirdos alone, yesterday they put danimals in the microwave...why? i wish i knew.
come to think of it... this isn't boring, it's pure evil!

I feel terrible! i am helping my little niece with a black history month project. She got Oprah Winfrey. It has to be in her horrible 3rd grade hand writing and it takes her about 2 minutes to spell each word. Now i know how my parent's felt when they had to do my projects the Night before. Thank God I know english and it won't be as horribly done as mine were. Though it has to be in her handwriting to make sure that she did it! so it'll be awful. poor kid! I'll be back as soon as i finish, which for me will take maybe 20 minutes to do see you guys around.

I never get grounded! I actually get along with my parents!
There was this one time when my mom wouldn't let me leave the house, let alone my room. does that count? it was because it was extremely convenient to her if i did what she wanted for a while.

I hate grammar! i use it as i please! Today was Anne-Marie-must-make-brownies-or-she's-sleeping-in-the-street-day!
So i made brownies and then i was forced to make more, don't people understand that i don't want to be fat. So I'm eating brownies with chocolate ice cream right now. umm yeah...last night i went to the movies and saw Vantage point. it was pretty good. Oh yeah today we had a BBQ. OK enough boring life.

Science 101:
According to text books...don't blame me blame scientist! Energy cannot be eliminated or destroyed right? Okay, what we learn in science is that energy can't be destroyed it is simply changed. Like a roller coaster. when it is moving it's using Kinetic energy and when it's resting it is using Potential energy. The energy isn't destroyed it is changed. we also learn about this when we study about the changes between a sold, liquid and a gas. Nothing is destroyed, it is simply transformed! Okay now that i have shattered you train of thought with some horrible memories of middle school. I want to reach my next topic. Life!

These rules, don't only apply to things they also apply to humans and spirits or the supernatural, in the end it applies to all that exist or to some, doesn't.etc...Scientifically if a tree dies in the forest where a human hand can't alter it. it simply falls, perhaps killing other plants. after a couple of days insects began to feed of its remains and animals make it their home. Eventually the ecosystem take it's toll on the fallen giant and the tree rots. Becoming in the end a fertilizer for other plants to come, whether they are plants to grow in that same location or this fertilizer is scattered through the droppings of animals. it isn't destroyed, it's role simply changed in the end the tree is still in our environment through other plants.

We know that all has energy, with out energy one cannot function thats why we eat!
Humans have energy. the one they intake when they eat and sleep. the one they gain from exercise. Our atoms have electrons!

Away from science:
Humans also have spiritual energy that can be controlled with practice. Some of us are aware of it and other are not. some of us are aware of it and can control it and others cannot. In the end it's there. This energy has a pretty name. It's called a soul. who doesn't have one. When your soul is in your body it's seen as the aura, by those who can. A magnificent show of your spiritual greatness. I have learned of monks who have used their energy to keep their body temperature normal under extreme weather. This energy can become a shield or a weapon. You can use it to warm your food and to cool your drink. I do not clam that there are gods on earth! we are all the children of God, right? so why would God leave his children helpless and normal? We are not normal. We are taught this from a young age, that normal doesn't exist! That perfect is impossible.

So in a fight against an entity that is energy, can you fight it with energy?
             Yes, 1.) Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.
So why can't we use our energy to stop another energy???

Can you kill or destroy an entity?
              No, 1.) perhaps killing isn't the proper word. Banishing isn't the proper word either.
This entity isn't destroyed, this energy is simply changed into another type of energy and it remains in the universe.

In the end we have power but we are born without this knowledge. it's known by those who have matured enough to use it properly. We must keep the last rule in mind at all times.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
only this way we can live in harmony.


This is what happens when you get a psychic and send her to medical school!!!!
 You want a spiritual explanation there it is.! You want a scientific one, you got it too.
This is the oldest story in the world, the geniuses of the world knew about it. I hope you guys don't find my post as boring as it can be. I still hate my middle school science teacher for it. I simply wanted to post my opinion on a little conflict that's been bugging me
I love you guys see you around.
Anne Marie.