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hey everyone

May. 18th, 2008 | 11:27 pm

Ok i miss all of you very much. I want you guys to know that if i had time i'd be in here everyday but sadly my life isn't what it was before. i soon as i have time again i'll return.

i love you all

Just saying hi

Mar. 25th, 2008 | 04:05 pm
location: home
mood: cheerful cheerful
music: none

Hey everyone! i miss all of you.
My job is pretty overwhelming so i don't even come around anymore. I pretty much just work all the time. I got today off because if i missed one more day of school they would kick me out. I promise i'll come around more often.

How do you know when your wrong or right.

Mar. 22nd, 2008 | 02:42 pm
location: home
mood: angry angry
music: moi lolita

Hey everyone I know it's been forever but I have a job so I've lost my freedom! ^.^

Recently my niece's boyfriend took us to work. we both work at the mall which is ok because we don't have to travel to different places. She doesn't love him anymore. So she walked into her store and I still had two hours before going into mine. So i decided to walk around with him. He began to ask me weird questions like what e thought of him and so on. I told him that my family loved him and that James does too. He was all frustrated and later i got mad and went to work an hour early. Later he told everyone in school and in my family that he broke up with jamie because I told him that i loved him and that she was using him and what not. I had the fight of the century with my family and i am angry s hell...so he has the balls to say hi to me just randomly and expect me to be cool. When i cold have told him the truth but instead i tired to save his relationship and in the end i came up as the one that messed it up.
Moral of the story... don't help any0ne!
everyone deserves what they get. Jamie wanted to dump him it wasn't my job to try to keep them together ans i can see why see wouldn't want him. As far as me. My lesson was that blood is thicker than water and that yes family sucks, but they are they only family i have. In the end I just hope my sister doesn't mess up with the stupid Idea they have to force jamie to date this one guy and eventually marry him. This isn't worth it.

Cranberry sandwiches

Mar. 17th, 2008 | 05:11 pm
location: My Room -.-'
mood: blah blah
music: Nathalie- Gilbert Becaud

OK... so today I started working. It's great I love it! What i don't love is how i almost lost an eye to a guy who was breaking tile four feet away from me. Or how I almost lost my right thumb to this earring hanger. Yes I suddenly became clumsy. I had a sandwich for lunch, it had chicken and cranberries. yes I know what your thinking, but they are actually pretty good. I also tried this Honey latte from starbucks mmmmmm good. Here I am home though bored out of my mind. Everyone came home from school and they are all sleeping like lazy people. I guess school is worst than work, who knew? Oh I also got new shoes...yes for work! and I got my first pay check ever! it was for the 2 hour orientation we had like a month ago...$14.62 not bad I expected it to be like 5 bucks though! Soon I expect to have enough money to buy my own phone so my phone-hog of a mother can leave me at peace. I hope to move out either, I can't stand her stupid need to insult me because I look like my father and that pisses her off! Oh yeah I got an application for a college in New York, it's for music and art. I like the one in France better... it's farther away from my Mother.
Ok I'm done... before I get angrier.
See you guys around.

Writer's Block: In this perfect world

Mar. 16th, 2008 | 10:19 pm
location: My Room -.-'
mood: accomplished accomplished
music: Loyal

What is your idea of a perfect world? Why do you feel this way?

Ok our world sucks but I see it as perfect. Why? yes I know you think I'm insane. I find the horrible things in life make us who we are! The sad things and the beautiful things and though I've done few bad things, I've been hit hard with horrible tragedies and I don't regret anything that i have done, or anything that has happened to me. simply because of who I am today. I am truly happy with myself.

Writer's Block: Meaningful Words

Mar. 15th, 2008 | 06:30 pm
location: home
mood: content content
music: Comme toi : Jean-Jacques Goldman.

What is your favorite quote? And why?

"Real love is a pilgrimage. It happens when there is no strategy, but it is very rare because most people are strategists."
I like this quote simply because it means a lot to me. I became a person who hide from the world within myself and in the end Love took me by surprise and I found that I could never return to being the person I once was.

Writer's Block: The Things We Carry

Mar. 12th, 2008 | 12:34 pm
location: the only place where i can be...home
mood: restless restless
music: none

What do you always carry with you?

My ipod
some change, mostly pennies.
gum always gum...i love gum
most recently, santi's mickey mouse. I hate babysitting!

Writer's Block: That's the Power of...

Mar. 11th, 2008 | 09:50 pm
location: My room
mood: chipper chipper
music: je vais vite

What makes you feel powerful?

Chocolate! Actually there was even a documentary about how our brain works. And the amount of brain waves given of during certain experiences and the waves given of by the brain when you eat chocolate are higher than does given off when your kissing someone. Go figure.

Writer's Block: I'm Ashamed of...

Mar. 10th, 2008 | 02:18 pm
location: My sister's room
mood: annoyed annoyed
music: none

What are you ashamed of?

Well back in the day I had really bad self-esteem. So everything was a problem, from the way I walked to the way I talked and chewed gum. Yeah I look back a lot and think "Wow I was weird!"
since then I have changed a lot To the point in which I figured out that one should only be ashamed of the horrible things in life. We waste so much time worrying about stupid things and never realized that it doesn't matter what you look like but what you do! If i went around killing people I'd be ashamed of that or if I was a prostitute. Lol OK I am ashamed that I have to change Santiago's diaper but since Geymie's almost home... I'll let her do it. God that's evil. I have to go people, I have a diaper to change.

Post Something

Mar. 9th, 2008 | 03:02 pm
location: Guess...
mood: nostalgic nostalgic
music: Je vais vite

So i decided to post something because I've been doing writer's block like there is no tomorrow.
That simply defies the point of a journal, or at least it does to me.

So I'll start work soon and my life will be different then. I guess it'll be better that way though. I mean I can't act like I'm still in high school. I don't have that freedom anymore.

I also realized that my dream of saving up enough money to leave for France is very far away. I'll have to save enough for a ticket and then have money to spend there, I obviously plan to get a job there but the more money i make here the better, The exchange rate is murder!

Yesterday my friends and I had a long talk, realizing how our lives were changing and for the first time I noticed that I once had everything and lost it over night. I also noticed that I had friends who never had anything, and where losing what little they had. It's all perfect when your a kid and don't have worries. I remember how we used to go up to Orlando 3 to 4 times a year. and now that's just part of the past.
Within all the reality that surrounds me, I still live in a fairytale. Not many people would notice how high up in the clouds I am, and I am thankful for that.

My Julien Left a long time ago. I thought i had him back for a while, but it was a mistake. Then when my life became a living hell I realized that he never left me. I hate it when you get things wrong, two complicated people and all that. A competitive couple. I know he's going to come back but it's terrible for me. He is so far away now, and travels so much. I even remembered that once I had forgotten the look of his face and the sound of his voice. This all came crashing down on me when he called. Like when you taste Chocolate after not having it for a while. We can be such harsh people, but our love is different! We wear masks to the world but together we are ourselves. It's all so innocent, it's so ancient it seems like an endless dream, or simply true love that traveled through the ages. Perfect like we had known each other for hundreds of years.
We're just a couple of kids but we are old inside! Not boring,I know I act my age sometimes but at other times I seem to be someone wise beyond my years. Julien and I we are the same but opposite, like a perfect fit of two pieces of a puzzle.
The sickening part is having to wait. All I hear is SOON, soon could be tomorrow as well as it could had been yesterday. Soon is still to come. Like a sign that says tomorrow everyday you see it. But tomorrow is just not today. so what is there to do but wait. Of course don't get me wrong it's not like I am waiting in vain. That's not the case here. Our love is our love! we are a couple! He has his life and I have my own. We both plan to live them to the fullest and not let each other interfere! But we won't let our lives interfere with our love.
Complicated I know!
So until soon comes. I have a job to worry about and college! Until soon comes I have a car to pay and operas to learn. I have traveling to do and a life to live.

So talk to you guys soon!